As long as you’re happy, said anyone who has ever loved you.
So you try really hard. You choose and pursue happiness. You read the books, or at least buy them. You track your habits, your mood, and you list 3 things every day that you’re thankful for.
And maybe you are happy, or at least look it. But still there are days when you will find yourself saying “Good, you?” and mean nothing by it.
Because apparently happiness is no longer just something to have. It is something to achieve.
And if you haven't achieved it, well, there are plenty of people willing to tell you how.
A QUICK CHECK-IN
So, how's the happiness project going?
Whether you’re doing great or have no idea, ask yourself: how much of your happiness did you make happen, and how much simply happened to you?
It helps to sleep 7-9 hours, yes. It helps to rest, and to learn how to love yourself properly.
But hap in happiness is luck, something that befell you. Things that needed nothing from you and just arrived.
The good stretch that coincided with spring
The old friend who called the exact evening you needed it
The song you forgot you loved showing up on shuffle
The empty row on the plane
Green lights the whole way home
We wish you these kinds of happy.
AN AFFIRMATION
For anyone tired of striving for joy:
I can just happen to be where sunbeam falls. Eyes half-closed, doing nothing correctly. Warm anyway. And all it will require of me, is to be under the sky.
Just show up, light will find you.
A FEW PROMPTS TO SIT WITH
Consider these the opposite of homework. Wander into one, see what's there, leave when you like. Your ReachLink journal holds the rest.
Recall your best day from the past year. How much of it did you plan?
What's one good thing that found you while you weren't looking? What were you doing when it arrived?
What did you love before it became something to optimize? What would it feel like to do it badly again, on purpose?
When do you feel most like yourself with zero effort? How often does your week include that, honestly?
If this coming weekend you just let yourself be, would you be more or less happy?
SOMEONE WHO GETS IT
Every ad you scroll past today will sell you happiness in some form. It can be a serum, or a travel deal. It can be cat furniture, that we’ll think we really really need until it arrives and our cats are more interested in the box.
What if instead of another thing that promises we’ll be happy, we spend an hour working on what’s been blocking the light? Together?
Not everything in the way is group-sized. Some of it wants one professional who can help you see what's casting the shadow.
Either way, no promises about the sun. Just steady, unhurried work on the shade.
IF YOU WANT TO GO DEEPER
Five reads, from shade to light:
Why happiness feels like a threat to some people. If good news makes you brace instead of breathe, this read helps explain why.
Why getting what you want never feels like enough. For the milestone that came and went without the happy.
Psychological flexibility vs happiness in mental health. The case for retiring 9,000 of the steps.
How positive emotions build resilience. What happens when a good feeling gets all the way in and you let it.
Why and how to savor positive experiences. Because how you hold what happens matters more than what happens.
Light has found you before. On ordinary days, in unphotographed hours, by just existing. Whatever else is true this week, that can happen again. Hopefully soon.
— Lorraine, ReachLink
